


On The Second Day of Christmas, Azazel Gave To Me (two dead parents)

by Wolfstar4evr



Series: Twelve Days Of Supernatural Christmas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Christmas, Dead John Winchester, Hurt/No Comfort, Sad Dean, Worried Bobby, Worried Sam, whisky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-07 07:22:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5448113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfstar4evr/pseuds/Wolfstar4evr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>15th December 2006, and Dean contemplates his first ever Christmas without his father (or at least without him alive).</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Second Day of Christmas, Azazel Gave To Me (two dead parents)

He didn't think it would matter much; this isn't his first Christmas without John. It doesn't matter it doesn't matter _it doesn't matter_ -

But it does.

Because before, John always called. Maybe not on Christmas day, but at least he knew - whether for a fact, or simply in his very bones - he _knew_ that John was out there, was fighting to come home for New Years, at least. But now...

Now John is dead. There's no call to say he's alive. There's no celebration at New Years. Even when Sammy left for school, he still had his father. He still had the man who taught him _everything_ , who taught him every single little bit of knowledge he has (or at least knowledge that's worth anything in their line of work), the man who has _always a_ _lways_ been there in some way or another. The man he has looked up to for his _entire_ life is just _gone_.

What's he meant to do? John died in _July_ ; he should be over this by now. There's no reason to feel like this again. There's no... There's _no_ -

Sam is worried. He knows that. He knows that there shouldn't be a _reason_ for Sam to be worried.

He also knows there _is_ a reason for him to be worried, and that's even worse.

They're at Bobby's this year. He's not entirely sure why, except Sam apparently placed a call and here they are, Sioux Falls.

"Here you go, kid," Bobby says, and hands him a whisky. Dean's not sure why but he's just been sitting on Bobby's couch for the past few hours. Dean takes it but doesn't drink it straight away. He knows that most hunters turn from beer to the harder stuff at some point, but so far he's managed to avoid it. Also he doesn't want to set a bad example for Sammy. Bobby frowns in his direction as he simply holds the glass limply in his hand. "Drink up. You look like you need it."

"'M fine," Dean sighs, placing it on the table in front of him. "Not right now."

Usually he wouldn't pass up a chance to get drunk. But today... he just doesn't feel like it. There's no need for it. John wouldn't want his son switching to whisky so early.

 _I should have stayed dead_ , Dead thinks despondently. _He should have left me dead_. His hands shake as he thinks that. Sam would likely coerce him into a chick flick moment if he knew. Bobby would basically do the same, but it would involve a lot more cursing of John Winchester and a lot more whisky. He knows it's because these people care about him. He knows it's because they love him and don't want him to spiral into a place where he will want to give up. He knows John wouldn't want him to give up.

But John isn't here... so what's the point anyway?

 


End file.
